Have you ever been in a situation where you felt completely like a ‘poser’ and always a little fearful about getting found out for who you really are? When I was hired to fill the position of a worship leader, it took me a long time to feel comfortable with that job title. I was sure people could see right through it to the real me: I didn’t have all the answers, and wasn’t at all perfect – not what I thought a real worship leader was, or should be – an introvert who happened to have musical talent, but would rather be in the background, uncomfortable performing and being in the spotlight – especially speaking, What WERE you thinking??? Poser!
Out of all the characters in the Bible, I identify most with Moses. When God asked him to do his part in rescuing the people of Israel, that guy balked and came up with more excuses than even I could have! In the story of their dialogue in Exodus Ch. 3-4, five times Moses talks back to God – protesting, pleading to be let off the hook. “Who am I to do this? What if they don’t believe me? I don’t speak very well, etc, etc.”
Reading this story, I am amazed at this God of ours. He listened and answered Moses respectfully with kindness and patience, not brushing his fears and feelings aside, but instead giving him reassurance, advice and tools for each objection. Amazingly enough, even the fifth time when Moses said, “Not me! Pick someone else to do this,” God didn’t give up on him and kick him to the curb, although He was frustrated to the point of anger! He flexed and worked with Moses’ insecurity and lack of trust by giving him Aaron to do the actual speaking.
I wonder if the reason God was angry was because Moses had focused on himself and his own flaws rather than trusting in God and His promise to come alongside him and give him everything he needed to do the job. After all, as M. Basil Pennington says:
The fact is that there is nothing that we are doing that God could not raise up a stone in the field to do for him.
But He wants us to be a part of what He is doing. God completely understands our issues and fears, and always gracious, won’t override or control our choices. He has promised to be with us and give us whatever we need to bring about His good purposes, for His glory – not ours. Contrary to what we may think, His power is often seen through His ability to work through our weaknesses and failures.
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